The Tear Catcher: Written by Lynn Mackenzie

Week 5

Fear

I met Bruce outside my office.  He was wearing a suit, shinny black shoes and a beautiful long black wool coat.  He looked so handsome, professional, and perfect.  I walked ahead of him into my office and in turning toward Bruce, he grabbed my hands.  The air in my office seemed so stale, so motionless.  I couldn’t get the air I needed to breath.  Without hesitation, Bruce told me the cause of his back pain was stemming from tumors…and they are presenting themselves in multiple places. 

“Why Lord?  Why now?  Bruce is one of yours…why would you want to risk his life at a time when he can do so much for you?”

I didn’t understand.  I wanted to wake up.

“Please, someone, wake me up.”  

“What about the kids?”

How do you tell your children that their Daddy has tumors that are presenting themselves in multiple places?  What a joke!  What an ugly thing to say.  I knew it was cancer – but how do you tell your children that such a terrible judgment has just been placed on their Daddy, whom they love so much. 

Later that evening we would tell the kids.  It was one of the hardest things the two of us have ever done together.  I’ll never forget their reactions. 

Nicole cried.  Blake simply said, “Dad, are you going to die?”

What paralyzing fear is constricting your heart?  Where do you go when you’re at a loss for words?  How do you respond when life hands you a bucket of lemons?  In all things we are to praise God, but how do you praise God when fear encompasses your very being. 

We’re told when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Clichés are cute, but no one ever tells you how to turn things around…to make sense out of the senseless.  God does.  We just need to ask.

Dear God:

My life is a mess right now.  Life has given me lemons and I don’t even have the strength to squeeze them to make something good come out of this.  I’m scared Lord and can’t even imagine what tomorrow will look like if today is this dark. Please help me and take over this paralyzing fear I feel.  Through the power of your Holy Spirit, may you give me the strength and your peace to face another day.”

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

                                                                                                John 14:27

Week 4

Prayer/Hope

When my husband received a chilling phone call one spring afternoon and heard the terrible news he indeed did have cancer; life ceased as he knew it. Through tears of fear Bruce fell to his knees at the foot of the recliner and cried out to God in a trembling voice. He knew he’d have share this news with his wife and two children.

“God, this has to be ALL ABOUT YOU. It has to be all about You in me, about You through me and about You in everything I am and do…because there is NOTHING within me to get through this. Make it about YOU GOD – all about YOU!”

I have to wonder what I would have done if that would have been me on the receiving end of that phone call. What would you have done if it were you? Shy of feeling kicked in the gut, would you have feel to your knees crying out to God in utter anguish?

Life is all about choices. We can choose to include God in our trials or tough it alone. Frankly, I knew I wouldn’t be as tough as I’d like to be nor would I have the strength to bear the burden alone.

Bruce’s prayer was immediately answered and continued until the very day he met his Creator face to face. What a glorious reunion that must have been. When Bruce was weak, God was strong.

What decisions are you facing today where you have some major choices to make? Are you going to ask God to walk beside you or better yet, carry you through some trying times or are you going to ignore the fact that your Creator wants to shepherd you in every avenue that life takes you? Ask Him today. Ask Him now. Don’t let your ego and stubbornness prevent you from seeking solace when the world can provide none.

Dear Father,

In your word you tell me that when I am weak you are strong. I am facing a trial right now in my life and I’m not sure if I have the strength to carry on. Please carry this burden for me. God, this has to be all about you. It has to be all about you in me, about you through me and about you in everything I am and do…because there is nothing within me to get through this. Make it about you God – all about you.”

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power ma rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Cor. 12:8-10

Week 3

Tragedy

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was my 41^st birthday that Sunday and we spent the weekend at my mom’s. Bruce, my husband wasn’t feeling well and I recall that he had to get up in the middle of the night and sleep downstairs on the recliner. That weekend he complained of pain in his back and being unusually tired. Bruce had been under a LOT of stress and I had to wonder if these stress’s were starting to affect him physically.

My 41^st birthday came and went. Even though Bruce had a full physical only 3 weeks prior, the next day, Bruce went back to his physician to see why he was short of breath and having pain in his back. A major discovery was found with a simple chest x-ray.

Bruce called me at school and told me that something was wrong. The chest x-ray revealed that his right chest cavity was all white. It was called a pleural effusion.

“What was that?”, I asked.

“They said that the wall between the lung and the chest cavity was filled with fluid.”

“What kind of fluid was it? Was it bad? Was it a form of pneumonia?”

Pneumonia was what I was hoping for. After all, that would be a quick fix, I thought.

What was happening? My husband was healthy, well liked, had a good job, and was active in the community and in our church. How could something that appeared to be so bad be happening to my other half, to my spouse? No one knows the pain a spouse feels until they are in a situation like this.

One flesh. Somehow that had taken on a new meaning. I now understood what the bible verse in Matthew was saying. When Bruce hurt, I hurt. The pain gnawed at me and I ached in the depths of places I didn’t even know existed.

My faith was being tested and stretched in a way that felt like growing pains. I needed to trust God and believe that he heard my cries. My faith needed to be strong.

I cried out in prayer “Why is this happening to us God? Why now? Do you even hear me? My heart aches. Can you feel my pain God? Please answer me, I can’t hear you. Where are you?”

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

- Matt. 19:5

Week 2

Strength

Unexpected turns

                I bet if I asked you right now if you have ever experienced a trial in your life that was of any size, shape or color, you’d say, “Well, ya!”  I even bet, if I asked you if you have faced a tragedy in your life that was totally unexpected and changed your life as you knew it, you’d say, “Hasn’t everyone?”

                I don’t care what your age is or what your circumstances were when you grew up; no one skates through life without a scratch, bruise, cut, broken bone, or broken heart.  If you think you are one of those unscathed people, don’t count yourself so lucky so quickly.  Your time has either come and you refused to accept it, or your time has yet to come.   How many people do you know that have: marriage problems, sickness in their families, financial problems, faced depression, lost their jobs, have been betrayed by family members or friends, sexually abused or seen death up close and personal?

                Life can take on so many unexpected twists and turns.  It can change its face a thousand times without ever asking your permission.  You can write daily “to do” lists, or meet with Financial Advisors to plan out your future, go to college, get a degree, plan a family and so many other things.  Then, out of the blue – BAM, an unexpected trial or tragedy is standing right in front of you, looking at you smack dab in your face.  What do you do?  How do you act?  You didn’t plan for this and now your world has turned totally upside down, YOU DON’T LIKE THE VIEW!  Your world is suddenly shaken.

                God promises to be with us always.  With Him at our side our world cannot be shaken to the point of destruction.  If your world is shaken – is God there with you?  Is He walking beside you?  Have you invited Him into your sorrow and conflict?

                Dear Father:

                I pray you walk before me, beside me and within me in this new journey.  Through you I pray for strength to stand tall when the ground under me is rocked and the walls around me are shaken.  Be my stronghold in every way.  Amen.

I have set the Lord always before me.  Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

                                                                                                                                - Ps. 16:8

Week 1

Prayer or Tragedy

Everyone has their own story to tell.  There is not one person on the face of this earth who is absent a story of their own.  What makes my story unique?  Mine grew out of the invaluable wealth of knowledge and insight into God’s heart and mind that I received during my husband’s battle with cancer. 

Someone once told me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I prefer to substitute the word beauty with blessings.  Blessings are in the eye of the beholder – and where there are blessings; there is a bounty of beauty.  Who in their right mind would think you’d find blessings in tragedy?  It just doesn’t make sense.  It’s an oxymoron. 

Have you ever heard someone say, “Now that was pretty ugly”? 

Well, it just doesn’t make sense when you really think of it.  Pretty is something that is pleasant to look at and ugly is just something that you’d rather turn your head away from.  So to say that something is pretty ugly….well, you get my point.  To say that there can be blessings amongst someone’s darkest tragedy, well, it just seems wrong.  Right?     

Tragedies can enter your life in many different facets.  It can be a slight inconvenience in your busy life or it may come as a real blow to your entire world.  Our tragedy was progressive.  It happened over a series of days, doctor appointments and phone calls.  Despite how it came, it turned our world upside down. 

Do you have a tragedy right now that has changed the landscape in your life?  Maybe you know of someone who does?  What small thing can you do today - this very moment to turn the ugliness into something pretty? 

May I suggest that you simply begin today to relinquish all the ugliness to God.  Give it up.  Your shoulders are not big enough right now to shoulder the burden of carrying your suffering on your own.  By letting go and letting God take over, you too will find the blessings in the suffering.

Dear Father:

Thank you for being there at all times - even when life feels like it’s more than I can bear.  I can’t carry this burden on my own anymore because it is crushing me.  It seems all I have left to give you is a broken me.  Itty-bitty pieces and all.   Take them, they’re yours.  I surrender all and ask that you carry me moment by moment through this difficult time.   Amen.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” 

                                                                                                                                - Matthew 11:28-30      

The book The Tear Catcher was so rich and full of wonderful discoveries of God’s faithfulness, His colorful character and the depth of His love that I couldn’t possibly have included everything in one book.

Because of that – I have chosen to write a short, easy to follow devotional series that serve as a companion and expansion to the book The Tear Catcher. They follow our journey; to some extent, yet expand on themes, while deviating on other occasions to expose “God sightings”. I hope you enjoy them.

Feel free to “comment” on the devotional series in the f.r.o.g. BLOG area of the web site.

Love & Angel kisses,

Lynn